For partners, family and housemates
Share a task with a clear agreement
Someone you live with has asked for support. Choose one household situation and make an arrangement that leaves room for both people’s needs.
Start by asking
Ask: “Would it help to talk through the task, do part of it together, or give you some space?” Listen to the answer before stepping in. This public guide does not contain the sender’s message or personal records.
Two things you could try
1. Agree on what “finished” means
Pick one task and describe the result in concrete terms. Decide together who will do each part and when. Check that the arrangement feels workable to both of you.
2. Choose a check-in that suits both people
Ask whether a reminder is wanted, and how it should happen. If the plan becomes too much, discuss a smaller step, a different time or a different split of the work.
A reply you can adapt
Could we agree on the kitchen for tonight? I can wash the dishes; would you put the leftovers away? Shall “finished” mean the sink is clear and the food is in the fridge? Let’s choose a time that works for both of us.
Fictional example. Change the words and timing to fit your conversation.
Before you leave the conversation
- What will “finished” look like?
- Who is doing each part, and when?
- Would a reminder help, and how should we give it?
If the arrangement does not fit
Either person can say that an arrangement is not working. Discuss it at a time you both choose, with room to pause. Agree before taking over a task or adding reminders; support can change as needs and circumstances change.
Sources and scope
Written instructions are one workplace support option described by JAN. The task examples also draw on W3C guidance about clear expectations; the home examples are the project’s own adaptation.
These are communication suggestions, not treatment guidance or a promise of agreement. Sources do not endorse this site. No independent clinical review is documented. Editorial policy
Maintained by Open ADHD. Sources checked .